Everything happens for a reason

I was one to believe that when we meet someone we gradually fall for them. It’s depicted in movies and we tend to always put it aside and only imagine it that way. Nowhere near the actual reality. I am certain of that. Always having the worst luck in love, I took every new opportunity as a great one. None worked out and I realized that guys have always and will forever be the same. I’ve been the type of girl which had respect for guys despite none having any for me. You will find a rare amount which will treat a woman like she’s meant to be treated. As for love, women seek the best. We don’t want a boy, we want a man. Never did I think I was going to find love at first sight. Having every relationship fail, I quickly turned my smile upside down and let things happen on their own. I wasn’t going to be the one to look for the impossible. Little did I know that those who wait get the unimaginable. I met someone unexpectedly. I guess I would call it love at first sight, yet I didn’t know it at the time. I never took the time to realize that something outstanding was actually about to happen in my life. When it did, I was astounded by how my luck turned around. It was unforeseen, yet the greatest thing to happen to me in a long time. I met the most unbelievable person. He’s everything you can only dream of. Being with him was like being in heaven. He always seemed to blow my mind away. I fell head over heels for him and I have absolutely no doubt as to why. He made me smile even when I was having a difficult day. He’s was the sweetest, most affectionate, captivating, remarkable, smart, funny, considerate guy I had ever met in my entire life. I had fallen for Prince charming; it amazes me how lucky I got to have met someone so special and exceptional. It was all good to be true of course. It all came crashing down 7 months later. I have been struggling to find myself since then. It’s been 4 months and it’s been a challenge. I have spent all this time thinking about what went wrong with the relationship by looking back at everything we went through. I can't say it was his fault. On the contrary, it was mine. I was so in love I forgot to think about myself. I got really attached to him and that led me to losing him. These months have given me the light I needed to find out who I was and who I really needed to be. I have turned to god to guide me through this process. I prayed to god to help me find myself and to give me meaning to why all this is happening, to help me move on with my life and to give me the strength and faith to believe in myself. I have also turned to friends to keep me intact, and I have learned to be a better person. I guess when something terrible happens it's to show you that you've done something wrong and it's to open your eyes to see it. I did indeed see my mistakes and I have changed my ways and myself in every way possible. I've become a positive person, yet I'm still struggling with accepting another guy in my life because I'm still in love with him. I have learned to open up more. To have trust. I saw that the problem was me. I had trouble trusting myself and I let that out on him. I have changed as a person all thanks to one horrible incident. I read a book recently, and it threw all this in my face. It explained everything that I did wrong and that all of it happened for a reason. As I was reading I thought it was a bogus analytical book but it turned out to be very helpful. It helped me understand that what happened was for me to change. For me to open my eyes to the person I was becoming. Not only towards the relationship but also with friends and family. I had forgotten about everyone and most importantly about myself. I learned that in life we have time for everything. We have time for family, friends, boyfriend and girlfriends, school, work and more importantly ourselves. We need to divide our time between everything because everything is equally as important. Our lives are not only centered to one specific thing. And all this came to cross my mind these past 4 months. My life has changed since then and even after all the pain I went through and am still going through, all the love I have is still there. I have faith that everything in life happens for a reason and if we are meant for each other, then it will happen. It’s a neverending rollercoaster and as life goes on, we expect the unexpected. I hope someday I can regain that strength and forgive myself for all that happened. I know somewhere someday I will get a chance to love again. Everything happens for a reason and that reason we can’t interfere with.