Struggles

Why do we go through so many hard times in life? Who knows, but we all blame God for all our problems. Well God isn't doing this to punish you or to put you through hell, he's here giving you these struggles so you know that life isn't about finding yourself but life is about creating yourself. Each and everyday is a different day, different struggles, but God knows you're strong enough to surpass them. He loves you and he wants you to succeed, even though you might think otherwise. Never let these things get to you because you deserve more than that. You deserve to be happy and live life to the fullest. I saw an interview the other day about a 6 year old girl with a disease called Progeria. Its an aging disease. She ages quite fast and lives up until shes 12. Now think about your life. Imagine you were her. You only have 6 years to live or less because she can have a stoke any day and die. Put yourself in her shoes. Life goes according to each day you live. In the interview, that girl had a smile on her face all day everyday. Never letting this disease ruin her life. She was happy and she was living life to the fullest because she doesn't know if she will be alive for too long. God planned that for her. Just like God has plans for you. You cant let little obstacles like these bring you down. Every time i feel like that, i think of that little girl. I put myself in her shoes and i smile. I smile because i have a healthy life, a supportive family and great friends by my side. I know we cant help feeling this way, but you have to think about your future. I know Ive been heartbroken for 5 months and its not going away, why? because im playing with fire. I'm doing this to myself knowing that im just hurting myself even more. I try and act tough, try and put positive quotes, positive thinking such as "i think im getting over you", but im still in love with him. Every time i see him, i get those feelings all over again. I feel like an idiot. I'm here giving my all, while hes there doing his deed. By the end of the day, ill go to the gym, release that anger and pain and when i lay in bed, he's unfortunately the last thought in my head. Why?..I don't know.I cry from time to time, hoping one day he will come back to me. But i know its not tangible. Its just a dream i keep playing in my head. On top of all that i have my parent on my ass because of work, i have school driving me off the walls and i have my health which isn't that great. Not physically but mentally.All that keeps building up each and everyday. Getting worse. But everyday i stop for a couple of seconds and breathe. I shake it all out and think to myself, it could be worse. But God is putting all this in front of me to realize that im wrong and that my life needs to change. I had a dream that i died last night. This means : "inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind".... You see? God telling me something. So just live your life as if it was your last day. Live it to the fullest, act stupid, make mistakes, talk to people you've never talked to before, release that anger on something or someone. Just be YOU! People will appreciate that and you will feel better about yourself.

Let life guide you, don't guide life.