Love is blind

Love is a mysterious feeling. It’s a feeling you can’t control. You can’t help who you fall in love with. It’s a feeling and unfortunately we don’t control ours. You can be the master of your mind, but you can’t in any way possible alter the way you control your emotions. It goes deep as in knowing how you feel but not being able to control that emotion. I am the guide of my thoughts but not my emotions. I have recently gone through a breakup and then a situation leading to what I would refer to as a second breakup. I have been keeping contact with the enemy and that contact did me no good. It in fact dug me into a deeper hole and I became a prisoner in my own thoughts. It became an addiction I couldn’t let go of. I believe everything happens for a reason and I was very hopeful that I would rekindle that love, but that in fact wasn’t the case. I have matured and grown and more importantly learned from my mistakes. I repeated that mistake various times but I wasn’t aware of the pain it was causing me and was yet to cause. I kept going day by day expecting something that was never there in the first place. I guess you can say I made up a story or a hopeful situation in my head. I was blinded by the truth and I was in fact blinded by who that person I was in love with really was. He wasn’t the person I fell in love with. He was a monster and I never saw that until recently. He finally took off his mask and I saw the real him. Everyone that warned me I paid no attention to because like they say “Love is Blind.” It definitely is. I am astounded by what has happened. I really caught myself in a lie for 9 months and when I saw the truth I was infuriated with myself and the person who caused me all this pain. There was never time to heal because that person was never out of my life. Now that he is, there are not enough words to describe the pain of heartbreak. It happens to everyone and you think it’s the end of the world. Maybe for the moment, but there are so many beautiful things and people in this world to look forward to. No one said it was easy being a human being. But as much as I try to be strong, I can’t control what I feel. I know I don't deserve this, and I know I will get through this, but I also know there's a time for everything. So for now, the pain is inevitable. I will always do my best to keep my head up and pray that this pain goes away so my heart can heal properly and in its given time. I am a great person who deserves to be treated with respect and if that person didn’t respect me, that’s not the person who should be in my life. You don’t like who I am? Then that’s your own opinion. I have learned to value myself and value who I am as a person. I have my flaws and have made my countless mistakes, but if you can’t love me at my worst then I don’t deserve to have you in my life. Wishful thinking is one thing, but reality is another. Learn to trust no one but yourself and always be strong no matter the situation. There is a solution to every problem; you just have to look for the answer. “Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”